Why New Year's Resolutions Fail

I had lunch with a friend soon after the new year, and she told me with chagrin that by January 3rd she’d already broken the new year’s resolution she set for herself. Although she may have broken her resolution unusually quickly, she’s not alone. The majority of people who make resolutions don’t keep them.

I had lunch with a friend soon after the new year, and she told me with chagrin that by January 3rd she’d already broken the new year’s resolution she set for herself. Although she may have broken her resolution unusually quickly, she’s not alone. The majority of people who make resolutions don’t keep them.

Research has shown that after one month 36% of resolutions have already been broken, and after 6 months, 54% have been broken. This cycle of resolving to change and then not being able to can lead to lower self-esteem and feelings of depression. You started the new year out full of resolve and feeling optimistic. Then within weeks or months you’ve reverted to the behaviors you were trying to change. Now you add the self-recrimination of having failed at what you promised yourself to do. Optimism can be replaced by pessimism and a sense of frustration.

Change is difficult. And certain kinds of change are more difficult than others. Among the most common new year’s resolutions people make are: lose weight, exercise to get in shape, quit smoking, stop drinking, get out of debt, spend more time with family and friends. Each of these resolutions involves significant change in entrenched habits and ways of life. And each issue involves a complex set of underlying issues to be resolved if change is to be maintained.

As a psychotherapist, I have worked with many patients over the years who enter therapy wanting desperately to change some aspect or aspects of their lives. People want to be happier, they want to feel less stressed. They want to get out of a bad relationship. They want to find and build a good relationship. But change, even good change, involves some discomfort. The part of the self that wants to avoid that discomfort fights against change.

So what’s to be done? In psychotherapy, people get support for understanding why they do what they do, and then in creating change in the desired direction. Getting support is a key ingredient to succeeding in keeping your resolutions. Secondly, there’s an underlying assumption that the magic of entering a new year will in and of itself power the change. But really, January 2nd is only 2 days after December 31st. The main thing that the change of years does is to strengthen intent. But without a specific plan for change, intent won’t be enough.

So, go ahead, make a resolution. But don’t forget to make a plan and get support!